In the Resting Place of Demons
Demons hunch in an enormous dead tree, its red limbs twisted against a sky full of smoke. Grey mountains loom far off across the plain.
A bright flash of yellow light is followed seconds later by a protracted rumble. Some of the demons stretch their webbed wings or uncurl their tails. Others raise their heads and look in the direction of the sound. One announces, “A-Bab’s back.”
Minutes later, A-Bab arrives and swoops around the tree. His fellow demons mutter greetings, until he settles into his accustomed place next to Belz.
“Hey, Belz, you awake?”
“Yeah.” Belz opens his eyes to slits and moves the tip of his left wing so he can see A-Bab. “How was it?”
“Aah, the usual bullshit nowadays, an incompetent geek. Got hold of the Necronomicon. Playing wizard, like some sort of video game. I don’t think he expected it to work.”
“Damn punks. What happened?”
“Well, he got the conjure right somehow but didn’t know any mastering spells. The terrified shit tried to negotiate with me.”
Belz snuffles.
“When I went after him, it turns out he had half-learned another spell. Just in case, I guess. He actually tried to liquefy me.”
“Son of a bitch!”
“Yeah. It took me years to reconstitute the last time I got liquefied. But I lucked out. He couldn’t get the pronunciation right. I was furious – like a man possessed, you might say. The first thing I did when I caught him was rip out his tongue.”
“Good thinking, ‘Bab.”
“Then I had my fun. Those humans sure make a fuss when you shred them to pieces. He was fat too, so I had quite a meal.”
“And after that? Before the conjure wore off?”
“The usual freelancing. I dumped some body parts on the roof of City Hall to give CSI something to think about. Then I flew around doing random stuff. Like, I scared some kids camping in a backyard.”
“Mmm! Kids taste like watermelon.”
“Nah, I was too full of phony wizard. But one of them thought I was his dad in a costume. He got a reality check when I roared.”
“Yeah, your breath is worse than a hyena’s.”
“Oh, then I caught this guy in a park about to rape a woman. I ripped him in half from the middle.”
“Do-gooder!”
“Me? Nah. When I was finished with him, I seduced her.”
“That’s wicked.”
“No big deal. She was Goth. Anyway, I told her to expect a real nightmare in nine months.”
Belz and a few other demons laugh.
“Ya know, Belz, modern times are dull. The old wizards knew their stuff. Remember that guy in Babylon?”
“Yeah, tough bastard. When he called you up, you did what he said. But it was always fun. The Middle Ages weren’t bad either.”
“Humans just don’t care anymore. They do evil, but there’s no heart in it, no style. It’s like a game. I’d give anything for a knock-down drag-out rumble with the angels, like the old days.”
“Yeah.”
A sudden gust of wind blows a crowd of chittering fliers through the tree. Someone calls out, “Fairies!” Alert demons grab one or two as they tumble by. Belz snatches one, bites off the top half, and offers the bottom to A-Bab.
“Thanks, Belz. I’m not hungry.”
“Suit yourself, she’s young and sweet.” Belz pops the wriggling legs into his mouth. A long silence ensues, during which Belz picks shreds of diaphanous wing from his teeth.
“You know. I hesitate to mention it, but a funny thing happened at the end. I was desecrating a church. I had just pissed on the altar when I heard the sacristy door open. I thought sure it was a priest and planned to filet the bastard. But it wasn’t a priest. It was an old lady. Real old.”
A-Bab scratches his head.
“What’s weird was that she wasn’t afraid of me. She was startled at first for sure, but then her face lit up with, like, wonder or awe or something.”
“Was she a witch or a hag?”
“Nah, I think she just worked there. Anyway, I tell you. No human ever looked at me like that before. She walked up to me, smiling, and stroked my face. She said, ‘Look at you. You’re real!’”
“Now that’s pretty creepy. You dismembered her, right?”
A-Bab shakes his head. “N-No, I put my claw on her head and just looked back at her.” He looks sideways at Belz with three of his eyes, “I felt it was the first time a human appreciated me for what I am. I kind of liked it.”
“You’re really weirding me out, ‘Bab.”
“Has that ever happened to you?”
“I don’t even know what the hell you’re talking about!” Belz belches fire and drops a big turd.
A-Bab casts his eyes down and scrunches his head behind his wings. “OK, OK, forget it. But I’ve been thinking. They don’t conjure us much anymore. Maybe we should just stop answering. Retire, like God did. Everybody’s fed up. I heard the Archangels quit too. Maybe we should all go to Limbo and chill out for an eon or two.”
Belz huffs, “You’ve got to stop listening to rumors. Let the Bosses figure out the big crap.”
A-Bab looks at Belz. “You got a piece of hand on your upper lip. No, over on the left. That’s it.”
After licking himself clean with his barbed purple tongue, Belz grabs A-Bab by the shoulder. “So, what do you say? Get some sleep. I’m next on call. No reason to stir.”
“Guess you’re right. See how I feel in the morning.”
“That’s right, ‘Bab. Nasty dreams.”
“Yeah. Same to you.” A-Bab folds himself up, closes all his eyes, and sleeps.
AS PUBLISHED in the online magazine Allegory Volume 34/61, Fall/Winter 2019